How to End Any Argument Drama or Conflict

Choosing to speak your unarguable truth will end any argument immediately and begin to restore harmony and closeness. Any conflict is comprised of two (or more) people saying things that can be argued about. If I say to my wife, “You do not respect me,” she could argue with that. If, however, I say, “I am having the thought that you do not respect me, and I feel angry,” that is unarguable, because I am speaking of my own inner experience. Our feelings, thoughts, opinions and body sensations are unarguable. But speaking about someone else’s experience is arguable and usually creates conflict.

Arguments end when we stop accusing others, interpreting their actions, or making statements about someone else’s feelings or experience. The next time you are in an argument notice how many arguable statements are being made. Then decide to shift things. Say something unarguable and watch the atmosphere transform. Just stop and say, “I have this racy feeling in my stomach. I’m so afraid you are going to leave me,” or “I feel a heavy tightness in my heart and throat. I’m sad that you are not interested in making love with me.” Making unarguable statements ends conflict and begins the process of healing.

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