Overcoming Loneliness

Loneliness can be a blessing, if you handle it consciously. Try this. First, make a list of five to ten qualities you most want in a best friend or intimate partner. Really feel into each of them. Even feel the sadness that may come up because you are without this kind of person in your life. Breathe. Second, choose the one you miss most right now. Third – and this is the kicker! – give that quality to yourself, be your own best friend! For example, if your ideal friend would listen to you non-judgmentally, then listen to yourself non-judgmentally. How would you do that?

Journal for fifteen minutes a day and listen – simply observe – what you write. In other words, find a practical way you can give yourself what you would like someone else to give you. Do it for a week every day. Fourth, repeat that process for your whole list. In five or ten weeks, when you have worked through your list, you will find that you are not alone at all! You will have found your best friend, your intimate partner – You! This shifts your relationship purpose from “getting” to “giving” and people will knock down your door to be in your life!

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