(Before I share this story, know that this is a post from my Facebook page (Roy Biancalana—Relationshipcoach) on masculine/feminine dynamics and the response from one of my “friends.” It sheds light on the dance between two beautiful energies and how to enjoy their benefits in your life.)
Roy posted this:
“I am tending to my mission, sitting at my computer working. My wife is in the bathroom tending to her radiance, tinkering with her face, hair and body. That, in and of itself, is a perfect illustration of pure masculine/feminine expression: tending to our respective priorities of mission and radiance.
But it gets better.
For a few moments (literally), the house is silent. Not a peep. No TV, no noise, no nothing. For me, it’s bliss: nothingness, emptiness, stillness. It’s heaven.
My wife yells from the bathroom: “Roy, what’s going on out there? I don’t hear anything. It’s soooo quiet. I’m going to have to turn something on and make some noise.”
I burst out laughing. Pure feminine energy doesn’t like nothingness, emptiness, stillness. She, the feminine, loves motion, somethingness, fullness. Ah, the beautiful, never-ending (and sometimes maddening) dance between the masculine and feminine. She wants fullness; He wants emptiness.
A great relationship is one where both priorities are honored completely and allowed fully. There’s an on-going flow, much like breathing, as a relationship moves between emptiness and fullness, between space and stuff, between penetration and withdrawal.
It’s love making 24/7/365. In-out. Together-apart. Something-nothing. Close-separate. Dance-rest. Feminine-masculine.
Align with this–be happy. Argue with it–be miserable.”
A woman responded to Roy’s post:
“Lovely tribute to your love. I have to say though that I love silence…..so maybe it is an individual yearning?”
“When you’re in the mood for silence, stillness or emptiness, it just means you’re in your Masculine in those moments. Remember, masculine/feminine is not gender based and we all carry both energies, though 90% of us are strongly identified with one more than the other. So, Masculine and Feminine are energies, not genders.
Pure feminine energy is not drawn to stillness. Masculine energy is–in both men and women. Being a mature, evolved adult means having access to either and animating them according to the need of the moment.
One of the main practices of a conscious person’s life is to know their native essence and organize their life around honoring it and strengthening it. So, if a person has a feminine essence, she (or he) should not, for example, meditate in the traditional way.
Traditional mediation is a completely masculine practice.
Traditional meditation, which is about sitting still and silently watching what arises and falls in awareness, will diminish a feminine person’s radiance and aliveness–even though she may realize the Absolute in the process. It distances her from the flow of life force, from immersion in bodily sensuality and from the experience and expression of emotion.
I know quite a few women in the Non-Dual or Oneness community that are enlightened. They’ve realized who they are beyond the feminine form, and in the process, they’ve dried up their feminine flow and now look and feel dry, detached, and frankly, lifeless. They have very little sex appeal to a masculine person because they’ve been masculinized by traditional meditation or other non-dual practices. Attraction is gone because masculine energy is not attracted to itself (even in a homosexual relationship).
A better form of mediation for a person with a feminine essence (and to ultimately realize oneness and non-duality) are things like yoga, interpretive dance, communion with nature, great music, food and fabrics and sharing love and connection with other feminine beings. The feminine must move. It’s life force. It’s not space; it’s stuff. It’s not the riverbanks, it the flowing water.
So, in my view, it’s not an “individual yearning,” but a natural yearning of the masculine or feminine essence, regardless of gender.