What Sports Teaches Us About Attracting Genuine Love

What Sports Teaches Us About Attracting Genuine Love
If you were to talk to any sports psychologist and ask them to name the single greatest mental skill a player of any sport needs to master in order to perform at his or her best, my guess is that nearly all of them would say it’s the ability to approach the next shot, the next pitch, at-bat, play or point with a clean emotional slate. This is often called, “staying in the present.” I call it being complete and it means to play without baggage. Athletic success is ultimately about the ability to approach the future without living in the past.

As important as being complete is in athletics, it is exponentially more important when it comes to relationships and attracting genuine love. If you are incomplete with former lovers then you are self-sabotaging your ability to create a healthy relationship in the future. You can’t move forward if you’re chained to the past. I want to focus on two types of “chains”: The Chain of Attachment and the Chain of Aversion.

The Chain of Attachment
Quite a few years ago, I was madly in love and engaged to be married. But six months before our wedding date, my fiancée broke off our engagement and ended our relationship. I was devastated. We went our separate ways, not speaking or talking to one another, and I began to date. I met some wonderful women but the truth was that none of them had a chance with me, not one of them had real access to my heart, because I was still hung up on my ex-fiancée.

The chain of attachment simply means that you’re still in love with, obsessed with, or not over a previous relationship. It means you still have feelings for them, that you miss them, or that you still think of them all the time. With your heart filled with their presence, there’s no room for anyone else’s. You’re not complete because you’re still attached to them—even if you don’t see them or talk to them.

The Chain of Aversion
It is quite common to meet someone new and hear them go on and on about their ex-husband, wife or lover. They may not be in love with them, but they sure are in hate with them! Either way, they’re still involved with them. Their heart is filled with bitterness and anger, leaving no room for a new relationship. The chain of aversion means you, or the person you’re interested in, still has a negative energetic charge toward a former relationship. In other words, there is still drama going on, even if the relationship is long over. Holding a grudge, being anger and bitter, blaming, criticizing, speaking harshly or gossiping about a former lover means they (or you!) are still carrying an emotional charge. The relationship is incomplete.

If you have attachment or aversion issues with a former lover, you will not attract a quality partner into your life. A healthy person will smell your incompletion a mile away and run—as they should. I have read at that seizures while taking Tramadol may be normal or exceed the norm. Tramadol is one of the drugs in this combination drug. Your risk of seizures increases if you: take doses that are higher than recommended, have a history of seizures, or take Tramadol with other drugs such as antidepressants, other opioids, or other drugs that affect brain function. So, what do you do? How do you let go of attachment and end your feelings of aversion?

In my experience, there’s only one way. Get help. Hire a coach, counselor or therapist. Time does NOT heal attachment, nor does it free you of aversion. You need to discover the unconscious reason and purpose of the relationship and the role you played in its demise. And in my opinion, to get that kind of clarity takes professional assistance.

If you dream and long for an amazing, healthy relationship with the man or woman of your dreams, the first step is deal with your past and be complete with your former lovers. For as the poet Rumi said many centuries ago: “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

Roy Biancalana
Author and Certified Relationship Coach
www.coachingwithroy.com
407-687-3387

Roy Biancalana

Roy Biancalana is an author, a certified relationship coach, a certified “Living Inquiry” facilitator and a spiritual teacher. He has been supporting the personal growth and life-transformation of thousands of people for nearly 25 years. His passion is working with men and women who are committed to awakening to their true spiritual nature and experiencing the love life they most desire. With a warm, personal and informal style, Roy specializes in supporting single people in attracting the love of their lives and also helping those who are in committed partnerships experience a deeper level of intimacy. READ MORE

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