Finding Your Mission When Your Life Is In Transition

Finding Your Mission When Your Life Is In Transition

 

Roy Biancalana

Life Coach / Relationship Coach

www.coachingwithroy.com

407-687-3387

 

One of life’s most necessary and critical skills is the ability to manage transition.

Think about it. Transitions are happening in our lives all the time, especially in this economy. Businesses are failing, people’s financial security is evaporating and others are losing their jobs. There are other kinds of transition, of course, times when we are thrust into the unknown because of relocation, a divorce, a scary diagnosis or a death in the family.

 

Sometimes these transitions come so unexpectedly and with such fierceness that we feel punched in the stomach and unable to breathe. We feel stunned and frozen. Life wasn’t supposed to turn out this way! Financial ruin, the ending of a relationship or the loss of a job puts us back in life’s “batters box” instead of rounding third base and heading for home.

 

What do you do when you’re faced with starting over? How do you find a new mission and a new path when the old one has ended? Well, first, let me say that you don’t have to find IT, IT wants to find you. As a Life Coach, my role isn’t to help my clients create a new mission but to help them see that it’s already there, waiting to emerge. There is nothing to create, only something to discover. Having said that, here are seven tips to discover your new mission when your life is in transition.

 

1. Accept What Is

You will never discover your new mission if you don’t fully accept the ending of your old one. Regret, resentment, complaining, blaming and self-pity are all forms of resistance that will impair your vision of a preferable future. Let go of believing that life should or shouldn’t be other than it is. Accept what is. It opens up the necessary emotional space for something new to emerge.

 

2. Complete Your Past

In golf, your last shot can ruin your next shot. So it is with discovering your new mission. Be sure you’re impeccably complete with your past. Is there a conversation you need to have with former co-workers or bosses? Is there an integrity glitch you need to clear up? Is there something left undone? Incompletions are like sand bags in a hot air balloon. You can’t fly with them; their weight drags you down. But closing any open loops “tosses out the sand bags” and allows your life to reach new “heights.”

 

3. Wait With Curiosity

While mid-life transitions seem like disasters, they can be a blessing in disguise. Some people report that without them, they might never have found their true path. Therefore, if it’s at all financially possible, don’t automatically look for a new job, but wait a bit and become curious. Has this transition been divinely orchestrated for your greater good? Do you really want to stay in the same line of work or is it time for a new direction? Is this a chance to do something you’ve always dreamed of doing, like writing a book, moving to another part of the country or starting your own business? Take your time and look for the blessing in disguise.

 

4. Sit and Listen

There are many complicated and elaborate testing tools to help a person find a new career path and some of them can be helpful. But sometimes we ignore the most reliable method: Sit down, shut up and listen! Sit in stillness and solitude and seek the wisdom that resides within you. Remember: nothing needs to be created, only discovered. So meditate on your mission. Just be. Sit. Listen.

 

5. Protect Your Space

In a time of transition, you need all your energy available to you. Rid yourself of anything that distracts you and anyone who drains you. Some of us distract ourselves with television, surfing the net, porn, food, alcohol and sports. I’m not saying you can’t have any fun (see the next point!), but I am saying you must not engage in distracting and numbing activities–and you know what they are for you! Also, you can’t afford to have draining people in your space, those who suck the life out of you. Surround yourself with people who are a joy to be around, those who refresh you, nurture you and enliven you.

 

6. Pursue Joyful Activities

Along with protecting your psychic space from negative influences, we must also pursue positive activities, those that rejuvenate us and make us feel alive and motivated. You need to take responsibility for your emotional condition in your time of transition. Don’t sit around all day fretting about your future. Your mission can not be discovered in misery. So play golf, tinker in the garage, reread your favorite book, go to the movies, work in the yard, go to a ballgame, play with your children or make love with someone special to you. It’s amazing what emerges in the space of joy.

 

7. Talk About It

We have so much to learn from athletes. Though they are some of the highest paid people in the world, when they go through a “slump,” they are humble enough to hire coaches, trainers or sports psychologists to help them get back on track. Let’s put it this way: If Tiger Woods has a coach, shouldn’t you? Isn’t it time you called me?