There is a choice-point moment in every relationship where you know you’re not happy with the current dynamic between you and your partner. It’s a point when you can feel in your body that you’re vulnerable to an affair, to cheating on your husband or wife, to looking outside your relationship for emotional connection and physical intimacy.
It’s at that crucial point—when you first feel the stirring, the initial temptation—that you speak to your partner about what’s happening in your body. If you can tell them how you’re feeling before any acting out happens, then you have the chance to make something beautiful out of the pain, loneliness or empty feeling that’s arising.
But what will you do? Will you keep quiet, hide your feelings and start (or continue) flirting, heading down that road? Will you project your feeling onto your partner and start looking for signs your husband is cheating, or that your wife is having an affair? Or will you tell your partner that you’re tempted, vulnerable and feeling interested in seeking elsewhere for emotional connection? If you reveal rather than conceal in that crucial moment, then you have the chance at using your pain as a portal for deepening intimacy and a more satisfying relationship.
If not, well, then you lose half your stuff.