I am the world’s biggest fan of coaching because it has allowed me to experience an amazing love life. I sincerely believe that partnering with an exceptional coach is an essential step in creating the love life you most desire and seeing it flourish over time. I would be honored to support you in discovering and discarding your core stories of deficiency, which of course, is the key to either attracting or creating authentic intimacy. (See the Living Inquiry page for an explanation of these core stories).
Those who are interested in working with me usually have a number of questions. While it is always best to talk to me directly (which you can do at no charge), below is a short discussion of a few important topics and issues. (If you want to know my fees, that’s one of the things I don’t discuss here.) Feel free to scroll down to the topics that interest you.
• Who I Work With
• What Makes Me Different
• Coaching Structure
• What I Ask of My Clients
• A Snapshot of a Typical Session
• My Coaching Tool Kit
WHO I WORK WITH
I work with single adults (divorced, widowed, never married), of any gender or sexual orientation, who are frustrated and disappointed with the dating scene and are open to an intentional and conscious approach to finding the love of their lives.
I also work with people who are currently in committed relationships and desire to deepen their intimacy, improve their communication, rekindle their romance or end a recurring cycle of conflict. Whether a couple wants to make a good relationship better or bring their relationship back from the brink of divorce, you will find that I can give you the tools that allow your love life be everything you desire it to be.
C. People in Crisis
The final group of people I coach are those who have, or are, experiencing a relationship crisis of one kind or another. Clients who are facing or recovering from divorce, a break-up, a death in the family or have conflict in the workplace, their family or in their friendships have found my coaching life-changing. You could say that I help people turn crisis into consciousness, for that is the gist of my personal story, which is detailed in my book, “A Drink with Legs.”
D. Seekers of Enlightenment
Perhaps my favorite type of discussion, I love to support people who believe in a future state of consciousness often called “awakening” or “enlightenment.” As a recovering seeker myself, these earnest folk believe there’s something they don’t “get” or that they’re missing or lacking something and that one day they’ll recognize “who the really are.” There is no greater joy than to facilitate an inquiry in which the seeker discovers there is nothing to seek, no one who seeks it.
Whether my clients are male or female, gay or straight, single or married, in some sort of crisis or are seeking enlightenment, they all share the following qualities. They are curious and willing to change; they keep their agreements, they are deeply interested in their spiritual path, they are not chemically dependent, and finally, they are able to pay my fee themselves.
WHAT MAKES ME DIFFERENT
I am a valuable ally for those who deeply want to experience a satisfying love life because:
• Training. I have had the privilege of being trained and mentored, for literally hundreds of hours and in one-on-one settings, by some of the best and most famous psychologists, spiritual teachers and relationship coaches in the world. I can provide names and references if you’d like.
• Approach. I have developed a completely unique and revolutionary five-fold approach to attracting genuine love for those who are single, and, I have also developed 12 commitments for couples that will produce lasting intimacy. Additionally, I have been trained and certified as a “Living Inquiry Facilitator.” (This is the simplest, most direct way to change your life. It’s an amazing too. Check out the Living Inquiry page for more information.) I have implemented them all in my life and I’m confident that whether you are single or in a committed partnership, they will create the relationship you desire. You can read more about them by clicking on “Couples,” “Singles” or “Living Inquiry” on the home page.
• Availability. In most instances, a client only has access to their coach, therapist or counselor during a particular session. But that’s not the case for my clients. They can interact with me between sessions six days a week. This is further described below.
• Insight. Being divorced, dumped by a fiancée and a host of other relationship disasters propelled me on an evolutionary journey where I explored the depths of my own consciousness and my relationship dynamics. That inner work has afforded me great insight into relationships, including masculine/feminine dynamics, self-sabotaging patterns in dating and intimacy and relationship personas—all of which greatly serve my clients in attracting or creating the love life they most desire.
• Enlightenment. Most coaches simply give their clients advice. That’s fine, but that’s not what I’m about. I go much deeper than that. I’m interested in my client’s self-awareness, their personal development and growth, seeing them let go of all that’s not truly them and resting as present awareness, allowing life to be as it is. For whatever you experience in your life is a reflection of who you believe yourself to be.
COACHING STRUCTURE AND FEES
I offer two distinct kinds of coaching sessions: (1) Relationship Coaching, (2) Living Inquiry Facilitation. The structure and pricing of each are very different. The vast majority of my sessions are Relationship Coaching sessions and I’ll cover them first. Living Inquiry sessions are less complicated and I’ll cover them second.
1. Relationship Coaching
• The Client commits to a package of four one-hour sessions. Life change takes time. The package fee is $500, with some flexibility for those in financial hardship.
• The Client has ten weeks in which to use their four sessions. Too much time between sessions weakens momentum and hinders growth.
• Coaching sessions are conducted by phone, Skype or in my office. I have clients from all over the world and coaching by phone works very well.
• Normally, the client tells me what they want to work on in a particular session, and so in that sense, they set the agenda. However, quite frequently I notice something that I feel the client should pay attention to, something they haven’t seen or thought of, and if that’s the case, I will take the client in that direction.
• Clients can call me daily for “in the moment” support. These calls usually last about 15 minutes and are included in the four-session package. They do not need to be scheduled, nor are they restricted to business hours.
• If sessions are conducted by phone, the client calls me at the appointed time.
• The Client normally pays for their package of sessions in advance (there is some flexibility here as well) and there is no refund once the first session has begun.
• Other than in the case of an emergency or a special circumstance, if a client cancels or reschedules a session on the day it is to occur, that session is considered used.
• I don’t take insurance.
2. Living Inquiry Sessions
• There are 3 kinds of Inquiry sessions (Unfindable Inquiry, Compulsion Inquiry, Anxiety Inquiry) and there is an entire page on this website devoted to explaining them. So please refer to that page for specific information.
• Unlike Relationship Coaching where I only work in packages of 4 one-hour sessions, Living Inquiry sessions can be done as single stand-alone sessions (unless the client is doing the Compulsion Inquiry. For this inquiry to be effective, it requires a package of 4 sessions that are done within a week.)
• Living Inquiry sessions cost $100, but package pricing is available for those in difficult financial situations.
• Both the cancellation policy and the pay-in-advance/refund policy apply to Living Inquiry sessions.
WHAT I ASK OF MY CLIENTS
When I coach people, I want to support them to create the life they most want. This can only happen if I am creating the life that I most want. And I want to enjoy my work and my clients as much as they enjoy working with me. When my clients make the following commitments, coaching them is not only extremely successful, but an absolute joy. My clients are willing to:
• let go of certainty and embrace curiosity
• take risks in support of their full aliveness
• be real and authentic at every and any stage of an intimate relationship
• let go of the victim mentality (believing they are “at the effect of”) and instead take full responsibility for the life they are creating
• have fun
• keep their agreements and commitments impeccably
• joyfully tell others about our work together
A SNAPSHOT OF A TYPICAL SESSION
While each coaching session is unique, they always occur in an atmosphere of playfulness, curiosity and candor. That said, I have found that the following elements usually occur in a typical relationship coaching session (Inquiry sessions are quite different):
• Check-in. The client and I reveal what is occurring for us in the moment.
• Agenda. In most cases, the client brings up the issues that are to be addressed. However, there are times that I ask the client to focus their attention on an issue that I think is valuable to discuss.
• Questions. While I want to understand the client’s feelings and circumstances, I primarily ask questions to invite the client into a space of self-awareness, which is where realization and manifestation occur.
• Body-centered. While most sessions are discussion-oriented, many times they become experiential. I may ask the client to close their eyes for a time and breathe, express their emotions through sound or movement or even discuss a topic while standing on the Drama Triangle (victim, villain, hero), which is a tool I use.
• Challenge. In most sessions, I ask my client to take a risk in support of their stated dreams and goals.
• Tools. In nearly all sessions, I give my clients the tools they need to live and love consciously. My coaching style is extremely practical and “how-to” in nature.
• Commitment and Homework. Near the end of a session, the client commits to a self-determined course of action; one they feel will bring about positive change in their life. I expect my clients to keep their commitments.
• Scheduling. The next session is scheduled.
MY COACHING TOOL KIT
The primary tool I use to guide my clients toward enlightened living and loving is my own direct experience and journey. However, I often use, and am highly trained in, the following powerful and proven techniques and tools:
• The Enneagram Personality Type System
• Hale Dwoskin: The Sedona Method
• Byron Katie: The Work
• Ken Wilber: Integral Spirituality and Transpersonal Psychology
• David Deida: Techniques and Practices for Masc./Fem. Sexual Expression
• Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks: Body/Mind and Relationship Vibrance Techniques
• Jim Loehr: Energy Management System
• David Allen: Personal/Professional Organization
• The Drama Triangle (Victim, Villain, Hero)
• Vipassana Meditation
Scott Kiloby’s Living Inquiry Process
DISCLAIMER (legal stuff that’s important to say)
All counsel, direction, information, teaching, books and materials offered through or by Roy Biancalana and Coachingwithroy.com are for educational purposes only and are not intended in any way to be a replacement for, or a substitute to, qualified medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, or as a replacement for, or a substitute to, psychological advice, diagnosis or treatment, or therapy from a fully qualified person.
If you think you are suffering from a medical or psychological condition, consult your doctor or other appropriately qualified professional person or service immediately. We are not responsible or liable for any action or decision (up to and including suicide) made by a client or clients based on the counsel, direction, information, teaching, books or materials offered by Roy Biancalana or Coachingwithroy.com.
Additionally, we shall not be liable for any damages or costs of any type arising out of, or in any way connected with, or as a result of, your coaching relationship with Roy Biancalana and coachingwithroy.com. By working with him and paying for his coaching services, it is understood that you fully agree to these terms.
For a complimentary 30-minute coaching session, call 407-687-3387.